~Let them see the cracks in your armor, that's how the light gets out~

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cycle 3~Days 1 & 2





Yesterday was the start of cycle three of chemo, 8 hours at the hospital followed by 6 hours of IV fluids at home. Although it was a long day and we were so relieved to be home, it went by without a hitch. He didn't have any nausea, only mild pain, and no other major issues.




Today was a different story entirely, today was rough. Jimmy was woken up at 6am with severe nausea. He woke me up and I gave him his Zofran, (anti-nausea med) but this time it didn't work. We had to be at the hospital early today in order for Jimmy to get his CT scan and that was not a good experience. The nurse who did the intake and put in his IV should not have been at work this particular day and I feel she shouldn't be in the profession at all. Pediatric nurses should have a special kind of personality and they should feel called to do this type of care. Kids are scared, in pain and need to be treated like they matter, not just another random kid in their monotonous day. Jimmy has a fear of needles that has intensified since his diagnosis, so I reminded him before we arrived that he would need to get an IV for the CT scan. When she came in to insert the IV, she gave him no warning, didn't ask him anything, just stuck it in his arm...or should I say jammed it unsuccessfully in his arm? As she did so, he yelled, (which he never does), and as she is looking around for the tape, she is moving the needle around inside his vein. At this point, he is tearing up, she takes her hand off the needle in his arm to reach for something and blood starts spraying everywhere, and she doesn't bother to clean it up or ask if he's ok...nothing. Another nurse who heard Jimmy yell comes into the room and has to tell her to wipe the blood off Jimmy and remove the table so he doesn't have to see it, and then she excuses the first nurse so she can finish taking care of Jimmy herself.




After the CT scan was finished, two of the nurses pulled me aside and let me know that they had already had a talk with her today about the same type of behavior and that I should ask for the other nurses when he goes in for his scans and file a complaint. It was upsetting enough to see someone hurt Jimmy but the part that made me the most angry was for this nurse to act so nonchalant about the whole thing. If she ever comes across this blog, I would just like to say, YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH MY SON AGAIN!






After the fiasco in radiology, Jimmy had to be taken in a wheelchair to chemo because his nausea and pain were worse now and he was really shaky and dizzy. He was given stronger anti-nausea meds which knocked him out, thankfully, because he needed sleep. He was also given stronger pain meds and he was slightly dehydrated, so they gave him something for that, which caused an even longer day than expected, they actually considered keeping him overnight. We were incredibly glad to go home and relax.






Jimmy has had a hoarse, shaky voice for a couple weeks now, which I attributed to allergies or a side affect of chemo, but Dr Dole said it could be the chemo damaging his vocal chords, so now we have to keep an eye on that situation. Chemo causes so many scary, potentially dangerous things that you would never think of as something to worry about in the midst of the greater problem. It would seem as if the fact that my child has cancer would be enough of a worry, but no, I have ten other balls in the air to keep an eye on so that none of them get past me and hit the ground.




If it hasn't become apparent by this point, my love for this child is huge. Everything that we have been through together, everyone who has come in and out of our lives, everything we have mourned and everything we have celebrated has brought us to this point. Everything that has happened in the last 17, almost 18 years, has strengthened our relationship and made us a family. We will get through this together, with the love and grace of God, and we will come out on the other side stronger than ever. I believe this experience will grow Jimmy and show him how much he is loved and supported and that with a little faith, you can get through anything.







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