This week has been an emotional roller coaster. Nearly every day something has happened in this ever-changing journey of cancer. Just when we think we have a handle on daily life and what to expect, life throws us a curve ball.
Monday morning, Jimmy was awakened with intense pain in his leg, he came in to tell me what was going on and then just fell to the floor in tears because the pain was so bad. All I could do was give him pain meds and massage his leg until the intensity of the pain lessened. Thankfully he hasn't had that again this week. Today his dr said that it may only get worse.
Since it was the end of Jimmy's 2nd cycle of chemo, today he had another PET scan to determine if the chemo is working. The results could be any one of these: the chemo is working and killing the cancer cells. The chemo isn't working, things are unchanged and we need to change the chemo protocol. The chemo not only isn't working, but the cancer is growing and/or has spread. It never occurred to me that the last was even an option. Of course, since it's the holidays, the person who reads the PET scan is on vacation, so we won't get the results until Tuesday when Jimmy gets another CT scan and sees the dr. We get to spend the next 6 days in limbo, merry Christmas to us.
Yesterday, we were told that UD and the Dayton Gems would like to have a benefit game to honor Jimmy on January 28th! This was such exciting news, and light in a week of such uncertainty. I continue to be amazed at the generosity shown by the people around us and especially by the love God continues to show us through others. Jimmy is so excited and I would love to have everyone there to show Jimmy love and support! (More details coming soon)
The other day we were having a particularly long day of tests, appts and chemo and we were both hungry and tired, so the plan was to get dinner and then come home and relax. When I asked Jimmy where he wanted to eat after leaving the hospital, his answer was "I just want to pick up food and go home to eat so I can be with Charlie." This may not mean anything to anyone else, but to me, it says that home is a safe haven for him and all that matters is our little family of three. One of my main goals as a mom was always to give Jimmy a warm, loving, stable home, so his comment meant everything to me. This Christmas is very important to us for many reasons, and all I want is to make sure it's the best Christmas for Jimmy. I am surrounding him with the people he most loves, (and his favorite 4-legged loves), so that he can just enjoy a day without anything involving drs and scans and chemo. I want him to know he is loved, important, and supported.
I hope everyone has a great Christmas and remembers why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. God is good, all the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment